It is so amazing how much affects Grandparents. Divorce is just one.Divorce is a terrible thing for us where grandchildren are involved. The pain is horrific! Floods of memories of happy days gone by are forever lost. Not just with the grandchildren but also the family unit as a whole. No one wins in a divorce. There are years of loss. It is all too familiar with us. We have suffered so much. We have been thrown into court only to watch those who we loved dearly attack our child as
if they were less deserving of life than they were. We had to set and listen to terrible unkindnesses that were suffered along the way...which were probably asked for forgiveness for... but soon that is forgotten and years of wrath spill out when it may benefit the angry spouse. And in the mix you see that the perfect child you raised is not so perfect and you grieve at things brought out that you should never have heard...whether true or not. Somewhere in the whole thing the children get lost. They become.."MY Child" instead of ours. They have no rights. They have no choices. They have to go where the court says. They don't get to choose to have a parent there everyday and everynight like they were born to have. They don't get to choose to be in their grandparents lives forever...because once a divorce is final....most disgruntled spouses go on a power trip and they suddenly control whether the child sees or doesn't see the grandparent anymore. Forgetting that most grandparents love deeply and have a little more wisdom than to try to bring more hurt into the child's life by focusing on the negatives. Most grandparents would find time doing fun things with them and loving them and bring healing to their brokeness through love. Now the court decides whether grandparents have rights or not. We grandparents have to learn to live outside the loop. We gather bits of information from anyone who knows anything...cherishing every bit...holding onto every little piece until the next one comes. We miss out on great times, on birthdays, holidays, and special occasions. We hope that somehow we will get to see a picture or see them in town or something. Always looking through the masses for....hope. Tomorrow...another day at court. On a special graduation day.....and we are caught in a difficult place. We cannot be at both. We are left hoping that we make the best decision for all. There are so many more volumes that could be written on this subject alone, but I will end this here. If you are a Grandparent in pain, you are not alone.
